*And I had my first ever “Lady Beer,” aka champagne mixed with lemonade. Delightful.

**It was a treacherous path, but Zack did his best to assist. I got frustrated because he tends to move at a much quicker pace than I do, but I finally figured it out and made it into the water.

I was full of dread as I climbed back up the rocks. There are few feelings worse than knowing something’s wrong, but not knowing what it is. Caitlin was busy packing up the car, but stopped to show me the text from our dog walker saying Scooby had bright red blood in his stool, was vomiting and had several accidents in the house*. We called her immediately and she gave us tons of info. Despite all the vomiting and blood in his stool, he was still acting normally and even eating his food. Oh, Scooby. She suggested we take him to the vet that afternoon/evening and even looked up a vet that was open past 6 pm on a Saturday for us. Tamara, the owner of Moxie’s Pet Service in Austin is wonderful. She couldn’t have been more helpful at all points of the process**.

*I cannot even begin to describe the horror when I checked my phone and saw that text message. I didn’t check right after getting back up from the lake — I took a leisurely shower first, got dressed, and then just flipped my phone on to see what time it was. I saw I had a missed call, a voicemail I couldn’t access because of bad service, and that text. I began to hyperventilate, near tears but unable to breath deeply enough to actually cry. I fumbled around for a moment, trying to figure out how to do anything, and then started grabbing our stuff to throw in the car.

**She is a saint. She even cleaned up the accidents in our apartment.

The 90-minute drive home was a bit nerve-wracking, but Tamara texted us this pic to let us know Scooby was still all smiles.What a champion. Even with all the information from Tamara, we didn’t know what condition Scooby or our apartment would be in when we got home. We tentatively walked in and were more than pleasantly surprised to see Scooby wagging his tail and that Tamara had cleaned up all his messes*. Still, we had to find out what was going on with him, so we drove 20 minutes to an animal hospital in a gigantic PetSmart and got him to a doctor. His vital signs were normal, but there was bad bacteria in his stool test and they could tell something wasn’t quite right. We’re pretty confident it was a chicken bone he ate on a walk that was bothering him. They gave him a shot and sent him home with meds and special food to take for the next few days.

*A SAINT.

We took our pup home as he did his normal routine of sticking his little head out the window in the car and generally acted like himself. He hasn’t had one accident or vomited since and he’s acting normally, except for a little bit less energy and the fact that he doesn’t want to drink water. For now we’re feeding him ice cubes and adding a little water to his special wet food. Once we realized he was going to be OK, our energy went from concern about him to concern about how we lost 5 hours of lake house time and had a $300+ vet bill to split*. But that’s life. The important thing is our guy’s going to be OK**. And when we got home, we watched the crap out of “The Lion King” because duh***.

*The vet bill was the worst part. It and a few other surprise expenses this week have left Zack and I broke, broke, broke. (Or at least a little bled dry.)

**Too true. Plus, we serendipitously were offered a free carpet cleaning by our apartment complex for this Friday, so our carpet might stop smelling like sickly buttered popcorn. And yes, every time I try to type the word “popcorn” it wants to come out “poopcorn.”

***We have decided our official RLA Power Rankings of the Lion King characters are as follows:

1. Rafiki (DUUUUUUH. A-sanna-manna-squash-banana.) I tried to debate it, but every second he’s on screen is gold.
2. Mufasa (James Earl Muthafuckin’ Jones) He’s the king. Kind of a snub that he’s number two, but Rafiki rules. Look *harder.*
3. Simba (Both JTT & Matthew Broderick incarnations are solid dudes. Scar really did a number on him.) 
4. Nala (Strong female character. She doesn’t let Simba get away with shirking king responsibilities.)
5. Timon & Pumbaa (they are only amazing together; apart we agreed they’d fall quite short in the rankings.)
6. Zazu (That bird is kind of a pest, but he has a tough job to do.)
7. Sarabi (Who? Oh, Simba’s mom. Harsh that she ends up only one above the Hyenas, but she’s kinda forgettable.)
8. The hyenas:

• Whoopi Goldberg hyena: She’s clever and funny. Let me never say that about Whoopi again.
• Cheech Marin hyena: Totally unforgettable and still a dick.
• Ed: The idiot one. What a dumb cock-eyed piece of crap.

9. Scar: What an evil, evil bastard. His one goal of becoming king is to let the hyenas take over? What a tool!

There are times I feel like I can’t remember life before Scooby and at other times I can’t believe we’ve had him in our home for over a year*. I remember how nervous we felt when we brought him home, worried we wouldn’t be good enough dog parents, but as I’m typing this sentence, he just came in the rock garden and jumped up on the couch next to me, and curled up into a ball. It feels so natural sometimes, even if we do still worry about him**. We never take this dog for granted though. We always talk about how lucky we are that we found him and that he’s the perfect dog for us and I really do feel that way. He’s just the best.

*I love that Scooby makes Zack feel this way, because when we first started dating, Zack never let time get away from him – whenever I would marvel at how it could move both quickly and slowly, he’d just sort of shrug. I suspect kids will do the same thing to Zack, but exponentially more so.

**It really is a night-and-day difference. That first night, I feared for him like I would a little baby. I was concerned that he’d bump into something, eat something he shouldn’t, hurt himself somehow. Now I am far more relaxed and he roams the apartment free during the day – although I do still worry about him escaping.

From that first moment where he “chose” us by climbing into our laps and melting our hearts, to every day that we get to come home to a waggy puppy tail, Scooby has surprised us, brought us happiness and anxiety, and been a furry friend that filled a space we didn’t even know was empty. There have been some unexpected costs (see: cat bite, Zack’s feet) but we’ve been very lucky that he’s been a healthy, happy puppy for most of his life with us.

We wanted to look back at the last year of having him with a brief history in numbers and a big photo gallery with captions below.

• Accidents he’s had in the Wittbloom house: 0
• Accidents he’s had in Caitlin’s parents’ houses: 2 (pooped on dad’s floor, peed on mom’s wall)
• Times he ran away from us: 2
• Times he ran away from friends he was staying with: 2
• Pictures Zack took of Scooby peeing on things: 45

• YouTube videos Zack’s posted of Scooby: 12
• Toys he’s destroyed: ~9

• Toys he hasn’t destroyed: 0
• Cakes he’s eaten: 1
• Cakes he’s thrown up: 1
• Times Scooby has thrown up around Caitlin: ~7 And let me tell you. It is just delightful to clean up.
• Time Scooby has thrown up around Zack: 0
• Times Scooby has thrown up on Zack: 1
• Times Scooby has gotten in fights with cats: 1
• Times Scooby has tried to fight cats: ~8,353

• Birthdays we’ve celebrated with him: 1
• Birthday presents he got for that birthday: More than we’ve ever given each other for one birthday. I was going to protest this sentiment, but…it could actually be accurate.
• Crazed around-the-apartment runs he’s performed: ~200
• Times he couldn’t figure out the doggy door at Caitlin’s mom’s without assistance: ~10
• Times he could figure out the doggy door: 1 
• Times we had him sleep in the crate: ~40
• Times he’s chosen, of his own accord, to sleep in his crate: ~8

• Times he’s slept in our bed: ~200
• Times he got sick of us re-positioning him while he was hogging the bed and moved to the floor: ~75

• Times we’ve changed song lyrics to sing “Scooby” or “Scoobs” instead of the actual lyrics: ~150 I think that’s a low estimate. I’ma say ~1,000, because I do this multiple times a day, every day.
• Times I’ve had my bowling name be “Scoobs”: 40
• Times I’ve used my actual name at bowling: 2 
• Times Scooby has humped his stuffed animals around just us: 0
• Times Scooby has humped his stuffed animals when company is over: 2
• Times Scooby has chewed  my socks: ~50. On that note, let’s get to the five funniest Scooby pictures.

10 Funniest Scooby pictures:

I tend to leave my socks around the apartment. Scooby likes chewing on soft things. Do the math. This time I just let him go nuts with it. 

Speaking of soft things Scooby likes to chew on, his favorite hobby is chewing out the insides of his stuffed toys. He’s like the anti-taxidermist. I have to admit, watching him gut his stuffed animals gives me the heebie-jeebies because I can only imagine it’s his practice for the day he catches a cat.

Sure, Scooby may love his toys, but nothing beats treats. That jar in the apt. office is labeled “Scooby Snacks” for a reason.

Seriously, just give me the treat. See the drool?

I said give it to me! I call this one “Jaws.”

If it’s not treat time, he’ll try to get our food. He’s learned his best bet is to stay near dad’s plate and keep one eye on it at all times.

What? Am I not supposed to be on the desk? But the view from up here …OK OK I’ll get down.

I don’t know why I find this one so funny, but the way Scooby’s arm is up like he’s riding shotgun in a car just kills me.

Scooby doesn’t know much about this world, but he knows this isn’t right.

This picture of Scooby chewing his harness cracks me up so much, I made it my phone background for months. This is his sexy, “Oh hello there” pose. I laughed for days about this one.

Scooby: Man about town

The Mohawk is Scooby’s favorite venue in town. He found a discarded chicken wing right after this pic was taken.

Scooby really loves the park. Even if he’s one of the only pups on leash.

Eyyyy, you guys. Let me get off the leash for a bit. Promise I won’t run away. Unless something interests me.

Scooby couldn’t quite figure out what this swan’s deal was, and since he’s not a swimmer, he wasn’t about to find out.

First time in the car. Certainly not the last. Hey guys- wanna roll the window down some more? Perfect.

Scooby: Friend to all

Kelsey and Heath watched Scoobs while we were in Montreal. It didn’t take long for Scooby to get cuddly with Kelsey.

Kelsey wasn’t the only one who got affection from Scooby. Wyatt caught Scooby in bed with Stella and was none too pleased about it. 
Scooby may have just met Alex and Ally minutes ago, but if you didn’t know better, you’d think he was their dog. His face here is just too. much.

Monte may have been more invested in his phone and Pancho, but how can you resist the Scoobs? He’s perfected the belly-rub beg.

Scooby loved meeting his dad’s dad, even if we scared him a bit. I think momma was the most scared when she saw this. Never again, boys.

Caitin’s brother Edward and Scooby always get along famously. 

Even these random kids at the park love Scooby.

The 10 Cuddliest Scooby pics

Scoobs is a fan of blankies, and loves to curl up with our couch throws or Zack’s baby blanket, Sheepie.

He doesn’t need a couch, either. Sometimes he’ll just pop up between your legs.

Sometimes Scooby will try to help me read, but he gets tired out pretty quickly.

“Hold me like I’m a little baby.”

Mom- if you’re gonna play on your computer, I’m gonna nap.

Don’t mind me, just hanging out on the bed by your feet.

I hope you don’t mind. I took your pillow. 

In Scooby’s dreams, he’s an Olympic diver.

Scooby Wittbloom: Bed hog.

The cutest bed hog of all time. 

Zack and I both forgot that a holiday was upon us this past weekend*, but because our beloved Chicago Bulls were playing the Dallas Mavericks and my mom lives just outside of the big city, we felt it’d be a great excuse for a long weekend of family and relaxation. My mom’s family got bigger since we last visited her — instead of just her and my stepdad Scott, they now have two “little ones” in the form of Browndogg and Cinnamon, their sister Airedale terriers.

*Texas Relays weekend! Oh, right. Easter. We bought these basketball tickets in like November, so we didn’t really consider anything except ‘Is this during SXSW?’ 

Zack and I enjoyed our three-plus hour drive up to the big D on Friday morning, stopping (finally!) at the famous Czech Stop for “breakfast” kolaches (Czech stop vine).

Zack ended up going to town, snagging a box of 6 amazing cheesy garlic biscuits to share with me, a pulled pork kolache, and a dessert-type strawberry cream cheese kolache (I saved that one for Saturday night.) I just went straight for a plain cream cheese and a lemon cream cheese, warmed to melty, mouth-watering perfection. I can see why this stop is so popular, and even though the line was long, it moved comparatively quickly and gave us a chance to let Scoobs stretch his legs.*

*This was easily the longest drive we’d ever taken Scooby on and he handled it like a champ, alternating between sticking his wet nose out of each backseat window and hopping up front to hang with us.

When we got up to my mom’s neighborhood, we detoured to a nearby park so that Cinnamon and Browndogg could meet Scooby and then “bring him home” (aka walk home with him and Zack while I drove my car). Everyone got along fairly well from the start, although Browndogg was pretty much nervous around everyone. Cinnamon was immediately excited about having a new friend, but things got a bit out of hand when Scooby actually took her up on her request to play and started chasing her. She snapped at him, feeling afraid for herself, so my mom squirted her with a bit of water* as a corrective measure and all was well again.

*We’re totally getting a spray bottle for Scooby. He really reacted to it and it’s way easier than tugging on his collar when he’s misbehaving.

I have to say, throughout the weekend I was incredibly impressed with how polite Scooby was. He really acted like a different dog, letting the girls feistily fight among themselves while he took the high road. When they got snippy, he just tilted his head up so he wouldn’t make eye contact. He was extra cuddly all weekend, too, which was an added bonus for us. My favorite was Scooby slowly learning how to use the doggy door. Just as I predicted, he didn’t learn how to go through on his own until right before we left. He was a great house-guest.

Vine of Scooby chasing the puppies around the backyard with Zack narrating.

The first night we spitballed grand schemes of a zoo or bowling trip*, but ultimately took it easy, having a late lunch, doing some laundry, watching some TV and playing Sequence, Zack and my new favorite card-meets-board game. I cleaned up that night, winning 2/3 games (Zack won the other one). We watched some Daily Show, and then played some Wii Monopoly**, which Zack thoroughly destroyed all of us on.

*We kept driving by this place called “Shenaniganz” that has glow in the dark bowling, go kartz, a lazer maze, lazer tag and black light mini golf! Next time we have to go. Anything with that many z’s is guaranteed fun. 

**I was being kind of a jackass during the game, telling everyone they were playing poorly by only building one house on their properties and berating anyone who wouldn’t trade with me. Sorry about that. Monopoly brings out the worst in my family. I’m a third generation bad sport at Monopoly.

The next day was the Bulls game, which you can read about here. My mom says that when Zack and I left for the game, Scooby camped out by the front door, sadly waiting for us and fearing we may have left him forever. She says she took him back to our guest room to show him that all of our stuff was still there and we were just gone for an errand, and that cheered him up and she says he was ready to play with the girls after that. He still gave us the warmest reception we’d ever had* when we got back, jumping all over us and was clearly relieved that we were home.

*Said in Buddy Valastro from “Cake Boss” voice.

We headed out to dinner at that point with my mom, Scott, and Scott’s mother Rita*, and made a quick stop at Rita’s new lot just up the road from where my mom lives. She’s building a house there that will be ready in October, so we got to see the location and the model home that is an approximation of what hers is going to be like. I will admit, I was looking around for white chocolate macadamia nut cookies like they used to have at the model house when my family was building our place in San Antonio. No dice**. However, I’m excited for my grandma to get new digs. She’s been through a lot of tough change over the past year. She lost her husband, my grandpa Bill, just about a year ago, as well as three beloved dogs. Now, she’s going to be closer to my mom and Scott, as well as some small-town action, but she’ll still have woods in the back of her house to remind her of her country living.

*Speaking of ‘Ritas, see above.

**We did get latte flavored hard candy though.

We chowed down at Johnny Carino’s and I saved plenty of room* for an amazing turtle cheesecake** to make up for my lack of cookies earlier. Then it was back home and time for some Sequence with my mom and Zack. We each won a round, and then played a tie-breaker that my mom dominated. It was only right that the hostess with the mostest take home the ultimate crown for the weekend.

*She super did. She only ordered the bottomless salad and soup, had light salad dressing on one serving of salad and didn’t touch the soup since it had bacon bits on top.

**Unpopular opinion alert: I think this turtle cheesecake was even more amazing, bite for bite, than the ice cream cake I got Caitlin for her birthday last weekend. It was so rich and delectable, it should be illegal. P.S. how gorgeous does Caitlin look in this dress?! You are the sweetest. But when it comes to dessert, nothing is ever better than DQ ice cream cake.

On Sunday morning, the Easter bunny dropped off chocolate bunnies for Zack and me*, which, even at the age of 26, I thoroughly enjoyed. I had already gorged myself on Easter candy Thursday night while we sat through a heartbreaking IU basketball game at our friends Riley and Bennett’s house. But, as they say, you can never have too much Easter candy.

*I don’t know how the Easter Bunny made it. The weather was insane Sunday morning. I was half awake when I took this vine of the hail after hours of lightning.

My mom, Zack, Scott and I all shared goofy inside-jokey laughs throughout the weekend. We giggled as the pups did silly things, and as we did sillier things. I took a nice evening stroll with my mom and the dogs, and we talked about the future and my career and how I’m slowly learning to live with the risk of mistakes. Zack and I belly-laughed at our dance moves and bent-neck giraffes, and I left feeling recharged and ready to tackle this week.

Then, after Caitlin’s mom and Scott loaded us up with goodies (They couldn’t have been more generous all weekend!) we drove home with the skies clear, the iPod on shuffle and Scooby asleep in the backseat. Such a fun weekend. Thanks for having us, Cathy and Scott (and Browndogg and Cinnamon!)

Going into our second Chanukah party, I figured it would be a lot like last years. The ingredients for the party would be pretty much the same. I’d make latkes, Caitlin would bake something amazing. We’d play dreidel for quarters, invite mostly the same people and we’d even listen to the same Spotify playlist of Chanukah songs*. For whatever reason, this year felt different in a lot of ways. If I had to pinpoint why, I’d say that it was because more than twice as many people ended up coming, Scooby was here to keep things interesting and people drank a lot more which led to it getting so loud, we had to abandon the Chanukah playlist and play records. I have no complaints about any of this.

*I felt like a bit of a fake when this Spotify playlist showed up in my account, being a Shiksa and all, but we had to use my MacBook Pro to get the “best” Spotify sound.

Caitlin picked her brother Edward up on her way home from work and came in as I had latkes in the pan and Weezer’s blue album on the stereo. Caitlin iced her incredible strawberry cupcakes/brownie concoction* as I kept frying the latkes and we caught up with Edward on his editing gigs and we shared the joys of training employees at work. Edward hung out on the couch as we finished getting the food ready and Scooby joined his uncle for a pre-party cuddle sesh. Before long, Rob and Emily showed up (a few minutes early) and Emily and Caitlin shared exciting job news as Rob and I immediately began discussing fantasy football, as we were the two teams on bye this week in our league (of Calamitous Intent.) I had Caitlin cue up the old Spotify Chanukah playlist and Emily asked me my favorite and I went for the cop out answer of Adam Sandler’s original version, explaining that Monte’s the deep cut guy, I like classics for a reason. The reason the Chanukah playlist didn’t last long was two fold: 1) Neither of us pay for Spotify, so we couldn’t put it on an iPhone and dock it on our speakers, so the talking soon overwhelmed it and 2) since I was logged into Caitlin’s account, I couldn’t remove the talking comedy tracks which really ruin the flow of a party.

*Another Pinterest win! I’ve been awfully lucky with the recipes I’ve tried so far.

 ”I didn’t know you were coming.” Rob (right) said to his younger brother Charles (center). Mark (left) was also there.

 Before I knew it, 15-20 people showed up in about a 15 minute window. The Chanukah mix was completely getting drowned out, so we put on Vampire Weekend (also Jewish), the wine was flowing, the latkes and cupcakes were getting nom’d and Scooby was all over the place, surprisingly behaving himself for the most part. Sure, our apt had a Christmas tree, stockings and the most heavily decorated porch on the block*, but inside it could have been mistaken for Jerusalem. OK, not really, but we’ll get to that.

*What can I say, I love the holidays. All of them.

Dreidel was especially hilarious this year, since I spent more time explaining it in a way that would help people remember instead of explaining what the symbols actually were. A gimmel is the thing you want to spin, and it looks like this, but everyone at the table decided it looked like a high heeled shoe, so instead of chanting “gimmel,” they chanted “High heeled shoe! High heeled shoe!*” In the picture above, Mac got “Hay,” the hebrew letter which means you get half. Once everyone at the table found out it mean you got half, they just started calling it “the divorce.” I’m really glad I got to share my Jewish customs with my friends this year.

*Our buddy Alex opted for the truncated, “High heel! High heel!” which was pretty awesome.

I’m not superstitious, but there’s something to be said for how your attitude translates to results. If you feel confident and ride a hot dealer at a blackjack table, you just may win. If you throw up one arm and chant “high heeled shoe, high heeled shoe,” Moses may just rain gimmels on you like it’s Mana all night long. Once Emily realized this, game over. L’chaim!

Alex and Ally had never met Scooby, but that didn’t stop him from getting all up in their grill immediately. Thanks to Alex for taking the dreidel action shots.

Dreidel was a ton of fun, but the most hilarious moment of the night goes to Scooby. At around 11:15, when Caitlin made a quick run to drive Edward home*, Scooby reached his boiling point. When he gets agitated or needs to blow off steam, he runs around in tight, lightning-fast circles around the apartment. Usually this isn’t a problem, because we keep a tidy living room and he can navigate around the furniture with ease. This night, however, the coffee table was pushed against the couch, and was lined with beer bottles and wine glasses that could be easily spilled by a wild dog. Oh, and there was a Christmas tree in the way and a dozen people in his path. After behaving extremely well all night, Scooby decided he’d been good long enough and started his run. His circle always involves running up the left side of the couch (Where Alex in blue is sitting), running across it towards the other end and then leaping off and darting across the room. He started on the other side of the room, and it quickly became clear to me that once he started on that couch, he was headed toward an inevitable crash into either the tree, the table full of drinks or both. The whole party saw him start to run and gasped as he miraculously leapt over the table and kicked his legs behind him to extend just over the top of every drink, landing without breaking stride. As party-goers made a move to cut him off, I yelled “No one stop him!” knowing that diverting his run would only ensure that he’d re-route and surely crash. With each successive circle the devil dog made, I managed to take more and more glasses off the table until it was bare and Scooby’s circles came to a stop. Crisis averted.

*I’m the blitz, y’all.

Lisa (and Bea) and Caitlin and Scooby. “Mom, you missed it! I ran right by the tree and then I jumped over the table a few times and I didn’t knock anything down…”

We were so busy entertaining that no pictures were taken for a solid hour and a half, so about a dozen people appear in no pictures at all and you really only see the beginning and end of this party, but see? There was a party here. Look at all those bottles. I really love that Caitlin and my friends come to our Chanukah party every year and celebrate with me, even though I’m the only Jew (aside from a brief visit from Bennett.) It means a lot to me that Caitlin especially gets into the traditions, lights candles with me, plays dreidel and exchanges eight nights of gifts*. Happy Chanukah to all, next year in Jerusalem (in our apt.)

*What’s not to like about 8 more days of presents? Let the spoiling commence!

THEY SAY IT’S SCOOBS’ BIRTHDAY!! That’s how excited we were when our beloved pup-pup turned 4 on Sunday. And how could we not be excited? He gets excited about the most adorable things, it is just infectious. I mean…look at that face!

Zack spoiled the pup a few weeks back with a surprise huge green dog toy, which has now already been gutted and ripped to shreds. But Scoobs’ reaction in this video was too precious not to share.

We went all-out for Scoobs, and even though it was technically only 11PM* a day early when we “officially” celebrated this year, we just couldn’t wait. We put an array of his favorite things on our coffee table, with his new toy in the middle, and then hid special sweet artisan dog cookies around the apartment for him to find. There’s video of him devouring the snacks but we all kind of look like goobers, so we decided to just share the above. Feel free to wish Scoobs a fabulous 4th (28th** in dog years!) year in the comments below.

*We had quite a debate on whether to celebrate at 11 pm the night before or wait until midnight, but we had things to do the next morning and he’s a dog and who wouldn’t want more birthday?

**Same age as me! For now.

I just stared at it for a few seconds. Then I took a picture. Then I called my dad. We decided I had to file a police report and call my insurance company. After relaying all of the details twice, they both told me there wasn’t really anything they could do. Whoever smashed my window hadn’t taken anything, so the police didn’t need to investigate and I had a $500 deductible on my car and this was going to cost around $300, so all the insurance company could do was hook me up with a glass replacement place. When they apologized for not being able to fix it until the next day, they knocked the cost down to $226. I was excited to work from home, but I didn’t even get to hang out with Caitlin due to a disappointing dinner at The Emerald*.

*My dad and I had been planning a dinner together, just the two of us, for a long time. I’d wanted him to check out the Emerald after Zack and I were treated so well there for our anniversary, and he did everything Zack had done — called ahead to make a reservation, let them know I was a vegetarian so to please set aside a veggie plate for me. We even bought the Groupon this time, like before we arrived at the restaurant! However, the service was god-awful. We didn’t have the sweet Irish lady who served Zack and me the last time I was there; we had some woman named Laura who seemed absolutely lost every time we said a word to her. My “veggie plate” literally consisted of one branch of broccoli, 5 carrots, and one small potato. Yup. Still, it was great to spend time with my dad.

On Wednesday morning I drove to the glass place with no back windshield and only got a couple tiny cuts on my hand. I was kind of concerned I’d be impaled by all the loose glass flying at me, like that scene from Ghost, so this was a win in my book. My favorite part was when the technician told me to wait as he went to my car for a pre-inspection. He took two steps out the door, saw the entirely shattered windshield and came right back inside, saying “OK, inspection over.” Caitlin was kind enough to pick me up, drive me the 15 minutes to work, have lunch with me in the cafe and then drive me right back to get my car. I super appreciated that. The glass place vacuumed up all the loose glass and even cleaned up the car a bit. Almost worth the $226! As I would soon text Caitlin, I was about to have an experience far worse than spending $226 on something I didn’t do.

When he wants to be, Scooby is the most chill dog in the world. This was Thursday morning.

On Thursday I went downstairs to check the mail and walk Scooby at 2:20, a few minutes before I had to leave for work. He was acting frisky, so I decided to give him a quick jog. We ran down the hallway of my apartment building, and as we got to the end of the hall, we slowed down to a walk. Well, I slowed down, and he acted like he was going to, but as soon as I did, he started running again. Being in flip flops, I was unprepared for the sudden stop and start and lost hold of his leash and he just bolted.

He flew down the steps, dragging his leash behind him as it skipped down the steps and along the pavement. He made a mad dash across the parking lot as I followed fairly closely behind, screaming his name. In case you didn’t know, Scooby is the fastest dog on earth, and I was wearing flip flops. The more I called after him, the faster he ran. Catching him was futile, but I thought I’d surely be able to corner him at the gated entrance to the lot. There was no way he could fit through that small gap in between the two gates. He hardly broke stride, squeezing through and continuing his sprint onto sixth street. I had to use all of my adrenaline to push the doors open and continue after him, but I’d nearly lost sight of him as he’d now put a full block between us. 

I kicked off my flip flops and ran harder than I did when I was a little kid turning off the lights in the basement at night, sprinting upstairs because I’d convinced myself witches were following me and I had to outrun them. I ran and ran, but he was becoming a blur in the distance as I ran harder, trying desperately to keep up with him. I frantically tried to wave down cars to drive me around to chase after him. No one would stop. A passerby saw me running and pointed to an alley and said “the dog went that way!” I ran harder, thinking he was headed to Church’s on 7th for the chicken. He loves chicken bones. He wasn’t there. I could no longer see him. No one was around to see him. And now that I’d stopped running, the adrenaline was morphing into fear and I could now feel what had happened to my feet. 

The ground was so incredibly hot that I’d scalded the bottoms of my feet. I had a dozen blisters on each foot. They took up every inch of my foot that had made contact with the ground. I winced with each step and now realized I could barely walk. I couldn’t put pressure on any part of my foot. I leaned on the sides of my feet, hobbling on 7th street, feeling completely hopeless. I didn’t know what to do. I was now six blocks from home, had no idea where Scooby could be and I couldn’t walk another step. I started to fear the worst. That he ran into the street and was hit by a car and killed. I was seconds away from a complete and total breakdown. What could I do next? I couldn’t go to work until I found him. I had to keep going, but where? And how? I was now in the worst physical pain I’d felt in years, while still an emotional wreck from thinking I’d let Scooby go and now he was gone forever.

Should I call Caitlin? She was in the middle of a work event and I didn’t want to worry her yet. Should I tweet for help? Telling anyone on the east side to look for my dog? I picked up my phone, not sure who to reach out to first. I’m embarrassed to admit that my first text was to be to my boss to say I would be late. Before I could even finish the text, I looked up from my phone, and there he was. There was Scooby, across the street, being held on his leash by a blond stranger on her phone. I pathetically yelled out, “Dog! That’s! That’s my dog!” “This is your dog?” “YES! Thank you! Thank you!”

I yelled across the street asking if she could please bring the dog to me. Then I thought better of it and asked if she could please drive him over and drive me home. I know I was being demanding, but I honestly don’t think I could have made it home, especially not without shoes. I got in her car, thanking her over and over until we reached the apartment. I didn’t even bother trying to find my flip flops I’d abandoned, I just slowly made my way upstairs while alternating between petting Scooby, being thrilled he was OK, and giving him stern pulls on his collar, letting him know he’d done something very wrong. He walked even slower than I hobbled, seemingly knowing he was in trouble. I was drenched in sweat and my feet were still throbbing in constant pain, but I didn’t even stop to change clothes. I put on two pairs of socks and through exceptional pain put on my shoes and went to work.

Even with two pairs of socks and shoes on for support, I was barely walking. I had to lean on anything near me just to get to my car, and for every minute of the drive, I was in non-stop unimaginable pain. Even putting my foot on the gas and brake pedals felt like someone was using a jackhammer on my feet. I took the elevator up to my desk on the second floor, hobbling through the halls, getting bizarre looks from people I didn’t know in the office. I finally made it in 15 minutes late and my cube mate sees me covered in sweat, gimping my way to my seat and asks if I’m OK. I tell him I’m not, but get to work anyway. After an hour of being there, I take my shoes off and decide I should really clean the blisters out. I ask if he wants to see the damage before I do and as soon as I show him the gigantic blisters he immediately tells me I need to seek medical attention. I protest for a few minutes, but he insists.

Caitlin is in the middle of putting on a big event, so I don’t want to bother her, but my cube mate has my boss find her in the event and tells her I need to go to urgent care*. She graciously comes to get me immediately and in no time they’re giving me a tetanus shot and cleaning out the wound to make sure it doesn’t get infected. 

*When Zack’s boss Matt approached me, we’d never met in person before, but I’d heard about how much of a prankster he was. So when he opened with, “Hey Caitlin? Zack needs you to take him to urgent care,” my natural response was, “Pshhh, yeah right. Sure, Matt.” But then Matt looked serious and said, “No, really, I think he messed his feet up or something chasing your dog?” Wait…he knew about the dog? Oh, God. The reality started to sink in and a pit formed in my stomach. I left the work event — the last one I’d put on in my rotation role — and rushed to get Zack.

The tetanus shot didn’t hurt at all, but scrubbing out the blisters was unbearable. The shot is a 2/10 on the pain scale and the scrubbing is a solid 7 or 7.5. They tell me to stay off my feet for a few days and note that I’ll probably be in pain for another week. They wrap my feet up in bandages, after putting a topical cream on, and send me home with a prescription for Hydrocodone. Caitlin takes me home, gets me comfortable on the couch, makes me dinner and lets me relax with the NBA draft. We still don’t get to hang out, since she had plans to have a drink with her boss and coworkers, but I’m OK watching sports without her for a couple hours. The recovery was much shorter than I was told. I was still hobbling around on Friday, but by Saturday I was feeling great, walking around with no pain, bowling a lifetime best 193 and even riding the exercise bike.

Emotionally, I really felt it for a few days. The next few times we walked Scooby or were near the few blocks where I lost him, I had terrible flashbacks and felt guilty as I relived the event. All in all, I’m relieved that everything that happened was just temporary. I’m out $226, but I’ll get my plates finalized on Friday. Scooby’s fine, except for a slight scratch on his paw that he suffered while running away that healed up the next day after he licked it a bunch.

I still have a few big blisters on my feet, but the pain is all gone, aside from a lingering dead arm from the tetanus shot, but I’m pretty much back to normal. I couldn’t have made it through the week without Caitlin driving me around everywhere, supporting me when I was doubting myself about letting Scooby run away and taking care of me and bringing me flowers and ice cream to make me feel better. It meant a lot to me, even if I wasn’t the best patient the day or two after it happened.

The only sad permanent thing we learned, is that Scooby will never be an off the leash dog. We’d started training him to be off the leash at Zilker Park the week before, but he just has too much of a wild streak in him. We just can’t risk him running away again. Or sneaking off to break my windshield. 

I was lucky to spend this past weekend with all of my favorite men in my life — Zack of course, my younger brother Edward, my father Lance, and Scooby. All of us (except my dad) crammed ourselves into my car* on Saturday in the early afternoon, and made the trek down to San Antonio so that we could see my dad perform as both Sam and the doctor in a community theatre production of A Few Good Men.

*It was comfortable for us in the front seat, but Scooby kept climbing all over Edward in the backseat. That dog has no sense of how heavy his paws are when he’s resting all his weight on you. Sorry Edward!

The car ride was lovely, with Edward telling us all about his post-graduation plans (he just got his Radio/TV/Film degree from the University of Texas at Austin), and Scooby behaving himself shockingly well the whole ride to San Antonio, except for maybe the last 10 minutes when he sensed we were near and got antsy*. When we first got into the house, it was obvious that Scooby and my childhood dogs, Tinkerbell and Leo (Edward’s dog, Leonardo da Vinci) were not going to be best friends**. Scooby was scaring little Tinkerbell (a sheltie), and Leo is very defensive of her so, in all of his 12 years, he would yip at Scooby and follow him around the house. Leo is in declining health, with a huge tumor between his hind quarters, so it makes it easier for him to fall over and makes it harder for him to get up. It’s a heartbreaking thing, and he has aged so much in the few months since I’ve seen him — his coat is fuller, his hair grayer, and his face has changed. I made sure to spend time with him, telling him I love him and how wonderful he is. Edward did as well. It’s a tough thing and all we can do is shower him with love.

*He hopped up to the front seat and got his over-sized 40 pound body into my lap. 

**Total understatement. We had high hopes Scooby would be cool with them, but it wasn’t his best performance. I think he was jealous any time we went to pet Leo or Tink. 

As we all stood around, watching Scooby explore the entire house, the thought crossed my mind, “We should let him in the back to make sure he goes to the bathroom…” Not two minutes after I thought this in my head, Scoobs is squatting in the kitchen, pooping everywhere*. This is a dog who has NEVER had an accident (knock on wood) in our apartment before, so it was totally out of character. I have to think there’s some kind of alpha thing involved in him “marking” the kitchen, but….gross, Scoobs. Gross.

*Poop-terest.

After we’d settled in a bit, dad, Zack and I headed to a Tex-Mex place nearby the house. I forget what it was called, because it was mostly forgettable. Not the worst enchiladas I’ve ever had, but certainly nowhere near the best. Mostly it was nice to catch up with my dad and watch the incredible Preakness* race.

*If Caitlin is more excited about a horse race than going out to dinner, you know it wasn’t great food. The queso was the worst I’ve ever had. It was runny and tasteless like Velveeta. The fish tacos were pretty solid.

Soon after we all headed out to Fort Sam Houston, the military base in San Antonio, and found the Harlequinn Theater, where my dad was performing. We had reserved seats, and even got complimentary iced tea and desserts! The way to my heart is always, always through desserts. The play was about two and a half hours, and I was honestly engaged the whole time. There were stand-out performers, with my father being the best (truthfully), and it was just a really interesting play (I’ve never seen the movie version).

I enjoyed the play very much. I’m honestly not the biggest theater person, but I’ve always loved “A Few Good Men,” so I had high hopes going in. I thought it was well-acted all the way around, and I’m confident that even if I didn’t know him, I’d have thought Caitlin’s dad was the best one on stage. He has so much confidence and presence and it’s clear he truly enjoys performing. He outperformed Kevin Pollack in the role of Sam, hands down. I don’t remember the doctor from the movie, but her father’s Russian accent was great and he did a terrific job of making each character stand out with just a fake mustache and quick costume change. Believe it or not, there are no Tom Cruises or Jack Nicholsons in community theater, though. The other actors were fine and I was certainly engaged for the full play, but I couldn’t help nitpicking the lack of intensity in the final scene. Regardless, we were there to see Caitlin’s dad and he was the highlight. I hope he’s in another play soon so we can come back. 

Zack and I capped our night with Saturday Night Live*, which my friend Melissa attended in person. I’m always glad to have her on the front lines of cool shit like that, texting me happy faces. The next morning, we got to do a photo shoot with Scoobs after walking him through my neighborhood, and then the little guy napped all the way home. It was a lovely little weekend and put me in a good mood to start my week.

*The musical performances alone made this one a must-watch. Mick was great with the Foo Fighters, Jeff Beck had a couple of other worldly solos and Arcade Fire was wonderfully charming as always. Even though neither of us are fans of Kristen Wiig, her farewell send-off dancing with the cast and Lorne as AF and Mick played “She’s like a Rainbow” and “Goodbye Ruby Tuesday” was touching.

*I feel like you all need to take this mental journey with me:  when Brittany said this, I did not envision the dog going to pick out his own parrot. Duh. I’m not stupid. Rather, I thought that the family had a parrot that the dog loved as his own pet, keeping it on his shoulder as he pranced around doing doggie things. A-something, a-like-a this: 

We like to make sure Scooby gets to run around and get all of his youthful puppy energy out in walks throughout the day, but sometimes Scooby has super energy and likes to run around in circles. It used to be this spastic routine where he’d run all around the apartment, jumping on beds and couches and bounding around in a hilarious manner. He still does this, but now it’s even funnier because he’s playing fetch with himself and being a mad man. 

Scooby can be chill after a long walk, and even in his chill times, he’s all about his parrot friends. I don’t know how to explain the crazy eyes in this video, but the way he tenderly holds his parrot and carries it around everywhere from his kennel to the porch to pretty much everywhere he goes in the house, one thing has been made clear to me. Every dog needs a parrot. Thanks for getting Scooby two of them, Mr. and Mrs. Nelson!*

*Seriously, thank y’all so much! He loves them like Linus and his baby blanket. It’s the cutest ever.

Well, the honeymoon’s over. I knew it wouldn’t be all trick-learning and fun walks forever, but it got pretty real pretty fast. It’s been a trying (and expensive) week for all three of us. Well, not expensive for Scooby, but he did end up hobbling on an injured leg so badly he couldn’t help  peeing all over himself, so he definitely got the worst of it. I guess we’ll start at the beginning.

On Saturday, we had an appointment for a quick check-up visit and ended up waiting almost two hours in the waiting room. It got pretty testy in that waiting room. Everyone says dogs hate the vet, but I think they’re just projecting. That seems to happen a lot. One time I was hanging out with this guy who kept petting his dog, saying “you’re so fat, you’re such a fatty.” The dog was not fat. The dude was. Bottom line, humans hate the vet*. I know I did. Scooby didn’t mind. I hadn’t had any coffee or breakfast and when “the doctor will be right in” turned into 45 more minutes, I turned into a total baby. The vet ended up being really great and re-assuring and gave him a clean bill of health, but I was already super frustrated (read: pissy.)

*I definitely agree that the endless wait without a real time estimate was annoying, but I was used to this from having helped my dad at the vet with our dogs all growing up, so I guess I kind of expected it. I didn’t mind at all, besides worrying about both of the guys getting antsy and frustrated. Our vet, Dr. Bates, was totally awesome and excellent with Scoobs, although Zack didn’t get to meet her until our emergency situation a couple days later because he finally got fed up and walked out to get some coffee.

Whatever. That’s normal weekend vet times, I suppose. We’re heading to Coachella next weekend, so we needed to lock down a solid place for Scooby to stay while we’re gone. My co-worker/friend Pansy offered to watch him since she has a dog and a yard and is super responsible. We were thrilled with the offer* and wanted Scooby to meet her pup to make sure they got along. The dogs got along just fine. They sniffed each other and left each other alone. What I didn’t know was that there were two cats lurking upstairs. After the dogs got along fine, we let Scooby off the leash and he found himself a cat. And went INSANE. I’ve never seen anything like it. They were just instantly on each other. It was a blur of fur flying across the hallway floor, sliding into a bedroom and then that damn cat was just suspended in air, biting and clawing at anything in sight. Pansy lifted up the cat from it’s ninja-like hovering/biting attack mode, getting scratched in the process. Scooby actually ran in place like the cartoon dog he’s named after, and we thought Scooby had escaped with just a tiny scratch on his nose**. He was cool in the backyard, running around, plotting a way to get back inside to finish off that damn cat. I took him home, we went for a walk and I put him in his kennel. Four hours later, Caitlin calls me asking what happened to Scooby after we left Pansy’s.

*Seriously, it seemed like a best-case scenario — Pansy rocks and we were very happy to save some dollars from keeping Scoobs out of a kennel.

**I actually missed this entire escapade, because I showed up 4 minutes after we said we would meet at Pansy’s so I only caught the part where Scoobs was stalking around in the backyard, trying to find a way in to destroy the cats.

At some point after I left Scoobs, his adrenaline from the cat fight went down and he was now showing the effects from the fight. Caitlin seemed really worried, saying he was limping and seemed to be in a lot of pain. She isolated it to his front right paw* and went through every possibility from him spraining or breaking his leg to a cat bite or allergic reaction. I was kind of skeptical. How could he have gotten so much worse from when I left him? He was fine. Now he can barely walk? It’s not that I didn’t trust her, she just tends to worry a lot. This girl was taken to the hospital every time she had a hiccup when she was little. It’s only natural for her to worry about her Scoobs. When I got home and he was lying next to his crate, in a lot of pain and unable to even get up for his morning walk with Caitlin, I knew it was serious. This time we only had to wait 15 minutes at the vet. They took X-Rays, found it was negative and shaved off part of his paw to discover a cat bite. That damn cat! I took a dazed Scooby home and watched so sadly as we had to take the elevator up and down from our apartment and he couldn’t hold himself up to pee well enough to avoid drenching his paw in piss. This didn’t make it to Pee-nterest.

*It was actually his elbow. Every time I’d get near it, he’d whimper and withdraw, and at one point after I’d helped him up on our bed to try to make him more comfortable, I tried to help him down and he tried to bite me because I’d hit the exact wrong spot. It was one of the saddest things I’d ever experienced — you just feel totally helpless in their pain.

In the meantime, all this stuff with Scoobs had created a lot of tension between us. It’s just tough. Caitlin was frustrated that I didn’t wait for her to get to Pansy’s for the meeting of the dogs. I was upset that she didn’t “blame” me for the fight, but thought she could have prevented it*. She was annoyed I didn’t believe how serious his injury was. I was annoyed I felt like I was being reprimanded for things I didn’t even think were wrong, when I was letting go of minor things Caitlin had done that I didn’t agree with in terms of caring for Scoobs. In the end, we talked it out with a couple long e-mails and just moved past it. We love each other. We love our dog. We love our lives together. It’s not all going to be the honeymoon. Sometimes it’s pissy. You still need to make it work.

Oh, if you were wondering what that picture at the beginning of the post is, I was walking Scooby on Friday and noticed he was peeing on a lot of things he seemed to be interested in. I tweeted, “Is peeing on stuff a dog’s version of Pinterest?” and after Caitlin’s brother and our new best friend Emily suggested “Pee-nterest,” I had to make a blog: http://pee-nterest.tumblr.com/ **

*I really don’t know that I could have prevented it. I shouldn’t have mentioned that part at all. The true thrust of it was, I’d taken an extra hour for lunch specifically to be a part of the meet-and-greet, and I felt like by the time I got there, it was almost pointless for me to be there at all. And, as much as he may not believe me, I in no way blame Zack for the cat fight. How could he have known there were cats, or the situation that would unfold?

**This is all Zack. I’m not sure if I totally approve of it, but it is pretty darn clever.

We had a rough start with Scooby and his Kong toy. We filled it with peanut butter and bacon-flavored bites and he hated the peanut butter so much he didn’t eat through it to get to the Pepperoni bites. He’s basically the only dog who doesn’t like peanut butter, but he does like meat*. On try two, we got some chicken and rice flavored wet food and hid a bunch of bacon treats underneath. We left it for him when we went to Mark’s birthday Star Wars party for a few hours** and he barely touched it, but when we got back, we got to watch him go to town on it. I couldn’t help but narrate the whole thing. Note that we had just returned from a party Caitlin had to drive my car home from while you’re watching…

*Definitely more his dad than his mom on that one. Somehow I’m able to just ignore the realities of having to scoop chicken chunks and other exciting things for him.

**This party was AWESOME! Beta version of the first Star Wars movie projected onto a screen in a backyard on a summery Texas night. So much win.

We’ll have to try this five-course Kong meal next. We also have an octopus toy with a the Kong inside it. Caitlin and Scooby have a lot of fun with it, playing fetch and tug-of-war. I got a sweet video of them going at it with the toy: