Analyze Phish: I Crashed Zack’s Phone Call

2 Jul

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Zack loves a lot of things* in this world, but some of his top-rung things that he loves are Scott Aukerman, Harris Wittels, and the band Phish. All of these things come together in a podcast called “Analyze Phish,” wherein Harris, a Phish Phan, tries to get Scott to join the club. Zack showed this to me in an effort to turn my Phish tides as well**, but I’m with Scott in that I still just don’t get it***.

*I once had an entire blog dedicated to these man crushes. Besides a few athletes, the list is mostly writers (Bill Simmons, Chuck Klosterman) and comedians (David Cross, Patton Oswalt), so obviously comedy writers like Aukerman and Wittels are held in the highest of regards. And Analyze Phish is especially brilliant.

**This totally backfired. I got Caitlin into a mood where she thought she was melting into the couch, but it was also a mood where she hated Trey’s face with a fiery passion and despised the live DVD I showed her.

***Apparently (this) is what Phish sounds like to People who hate Phish.

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Zack’s buddy Brett is now interning at Earwolf*, which is the place where many of these crazy podcasts call home (including Comedy Bang Bang, which is also a show on IFC about to come back for season 2 and it is hilarious in that absurdist-humor-wherein-sometimes-people-kill-inanimate-objects kind of way). Brett knew that Analyze Phish was taking callers, so he texted Zack to get on it and make the call. Zack dialed, saying to me as he did so, “There’s no way they’re going to pick up, though.” About a minute later, he was talking to Scott and Harris about the songs that he thought might go over well for a non-fan**. As he was talking to the guys, he was pacing madly around our apartment, which he does when he has happy excited nerves***. I thought it was adorable. I also knew that Aukerman and Wittels were both pretty well plugged into the internet.

*And he’s killing it co-hosting their Wednesday Earhump show. Woo Brett! 

**I suggested “Wolfman’s Brother,” partially because I do love it, but I also knew Scott would hate the funkiness and the bizarre lyrics.

***I pace most of the time I’m on the phone at home, so this isn’t entirely out of the ordinary, but yeah, I was a little nervous.

So this happened:

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I wasn’t sure if anybody would even notice, but I figured I’d put it out in the ether. All of a sudden, I hear Zack say, “Wait, do I know…Caitlin? How do you know my girlfriend*?” I started to giggle and Scott explained to Zack that I’d tweeted at him, and proceeded to read my tweet to him. Zack mock-shook his fist at me and then gave me a big grin**, and shared that Scott had then instructed him to marry me, to which he replied he was going to hold up this T-shirt and ask me if I would be…his wyyyyy-eeeeeeeeffff. So there you go***.

*I was already a little nervous, but this totally threw me off. I was thinking, “Is he Facebook stalking me? I mean, we are Facebook friends…wait, that doesn’t even make sense. How would he know my last name?”

**Caitlin acknowledged she was a bit worried I’d be embarrassed or annoyed with her, but I totally loved it. I was just thrilled to be talking to them and it made for a far more memorable exchange than me just mumbling Phish nonsense at them. 

***If you’ve never listened yet, it’s time to let Harris Wittels “Be your tour guide through the cosmos. Sorry.” 

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